Post by pichubro on May 21, 2016 3:11:31 GMT -5
How am I supposed to do college level math when I can't even do 4th grade level math? This may potentially be an issue.
Also, I came up with a brilliant idea, a season 1 episode of Pokemon that should have happened. An episode that takes place before they face Blaine when they reach Cinnibar Island.
Just when "Our Heroes" get to Cinnibar Island, The episode starts with Ash walking out of the Pokemon Center and Fiddling with the Pokedex, with the only thing you see on the screen is the word "Save". After that, he walks over to Brock and Misty who had gone ahead, and they go to a cliff overlooking the coast. There, Misty notices something floating along the beach, and points it out to the group. Brock responds in a panic, saying "No! It can't be!", and Ash responds "What is it? Is it a rare Pokemon!? I'm gonna catch it while it's off guard!" Brock holds him back and says to him with a terrified look on his face, "No! You must NEVER try to catch one of those!" Ash looks at him with a confused look, and asks "Why not? It doesn't look like anything bad could possibly happen.." as strangely shaped pixels fall off of the Pokemon floating in the air.
Brock suddenly flies off the handle on Ash, "WHY NOT!? Don't you know anything!? You absolutely never try to catch that Pokemon! The structural make up of that Pokemon defies any and all laws of Quantum physics, and because of the mechanics used by the Pokeball, when the Exotic matter that makes up that Pokemon come in contact with the various matter transfer devices used by the Pokeball, it's said that a catastrophic event could take place, destroying the very fibers of time and space, and the entire Pokemon world with it! This theory is widely accepted by most Poke-cosmologists and Poke-quantum physicists all over the Poke World! NO ONE has ever been stupid enough to even think about catching one of those! Just trust me. Bad things would happen. Just trust me..."
Ash forms an ambitious look on his face and cries out "WELL I'M NOT NO ONE! NO ASTROPHYSISISIST IS GONNA BE THE BOSS OF ME!!" and with that he turns around and throws a Pokeball at it. The beam of light shoots from the inside of the pokeball and engulfs the large blocky 2D Pokemon and sucks it in. After a moment or two, the ball stops wobbling.
Just then a violent beam blasts from the center of the Pokeball and begins destroying the landscape, absorbing everything in it's path and replacing it with broken pixels and parts of strange characters and chunks of jumbled text. "Pi-pikachu..." Pikachu says while standing on Ash's shoulder, facepalming himself and shaking his head, making up his only real cameo in this episode.
Ash and the others ignore this inspired insight from Pikachu, as they stand frozen in time, shocked at the results of this technological Armageddon. They all stand and watch as everything around them is turned into a strange abstract world.
WHOSE THAT POKEMON!?!
And now a word from our sponsors
Also, Boycott kit kat until they take that damn annoying chomping commercial off the air. Just thought I'd add a public service announcement.
IT'S....err....well....
We rejoin our heroes standing in a world sent into chaos by the effects of capturing the mysterious pokemon. "You fool! Look what you've done!" Brock cries out, as Ash dumps seemingly hundreds of Pokeballs out of his backpack. They fall to the side of the 2D ground and into the abyss, while Ash and the others can still somehow balance on the 2D plane.
"Are you even listening to me Ash!? You Pokeball created a dimensional rift that tore the fibers of space and time to pieces! Now there is no past! Everything is gone, and our future is probably doomed now too!" Brock continues, as he does so, a large gathering of Pixels with a giant "Q" in the center floats by, unleashing a horrendous sound, screeching and grinding, making all the sounds of various Pokemon mixed together.
Ash then turns back to Brock, "Oh don't be so dramatic. I'm sure it'll pass in a couple of minutes, lets just head over to the Pokemon Gym, I'm sure it'll be over by then." the three of them look around to see where the Poke Gym went in all this chaos. They turn to find it is in the background, slightly above them, but off the 2D plane. "There it is, lets go!" Ash exclaims. "But we can't" Misty says, looking up at the gym. "Why not!?" Ash asked, once again confused.
"Who was the responsible adult who decided you we're mentally capable of leaving school and letting you go on a Pokemon quest!?" a pixelated Brock screams. "Don't you know anything!?" Misty says in an irritated tone, "we're trapped in a 2D plane, the Gym is on a 3D plane, so we can't interpret it, since we exist in a different dimension from it."
"Oh." says a glitched sprite of Slowbro and Hypno put together with Ash's voice, "Well then how will I ever get my Gym badge!? Oh, this is terrible!"
Suddenly a giant 2D Charizard swoops in on them, "WILD *()$*@_#*(&^$&*^@ WANTS TO FIGHT" it said in a scary computer voice. "Oh yeah!? I think I'll try out my new Pokemon!" Ash says viciously, turning his hat back wards.
"Ash, your a moron and I hate you." Brock says, now looking like a Bug Catcher with a Rhydon's face. The Glitchy Charizard then made balls of flames that appeared every few inches until they hit Ash and surround him in flame sprites. He then lights on fire for real. "Your right Brock, lets run away!" Ash screams.
The perspective suddenly changes to the traditional top down game view, Ash, Brock and Misty running from the still battle sprite version of the giant Charizard. "Ahh! It is impossible to run down this angled corridor without being able to run diagonally!" yelled Misty to the others as they all, including charizard, ran in a zig zag pattern regularly hitting walls.
As they ran down the corridor, they passed various other strange Pokemon, giant blocks of static, mutated sprite versions of normal Pokemon, making horrible noises, giant clumps of dots, floating around battling each other, all turning their attention to our heros, and joining the chase as well, when colliding together becoming one larger pixel-IE block.
The corridor came to a dead end, and returned to semi normal animation. "Looks like we're trapped..." Ash says, turning back to the giant mass of glitched pixels, "What do we do now?"
And now for another word from our sponsers, since this episode would have aired in season 1, The commercials will be appropriate for such a time.
(had all that stuff in the commercial, by the way)
(the BRAND NEW technology, FLAT SCREEN TVS!!!
)And now, back to our show!
We left with our heroes in quite a conundrum! Ash, Brock, and Misty are now cornered by the Massive glitch Pokemon! "Well, I guess we have no other choice, but to battle!!" Ash proclaims, reaching for a Pokeball, only to find that all of his other Pokemon are missing. All except one.
"I guess I have no other choice..." Ash said, slightly more concerned now, being as that the only Pokemon he had remaining was the one that caused them to be in this mess in the first place, as Pikachu was now a floating cut bush sprite.
"GO! ....UHHH.....WHATEVER YOU ARE!" Ash yells as he throws his last remaining Pokeball. Out from the Pokeball emerges a smaller version of their opponent. "Use....uhh...I dunno, Sky Attack or Water Gun or something..."
And like that, the strangely shaped Pokemon slowly floats frame by frame into the air. It comes down on the greater glitch pokemon with a lot of force. At least a lot of force for something that was moving as slow as it was. It locked into place on top of the larger glitch to complete it, making it into just a giant brick of dots and lines.
"....Well that wasn't helpful..." Misty says, stating the obvious truth of their peril. "I wouldn't be so sure of that!" Ash triumphantly exclaims. "RETURN!" he cries as he throws out the glitch pokemon's Pokeball. The entire mass is enveloped in the bright light, and sucked into the Pokeball.
"....How did you know that would happen?" Brock says in amazement. "Well, it's simple," Ash begins, "In order to know which Pokeball belongs to which pokemon, a Pokeball saves a copy of the Pokemon's genetic code in it's memory so it will only recapture the Pokemon that belongs inside of it. In the case of the glitch Pokemon, as they bonded together like that, their genetic make up became one, and therefore, they became part of the Pokemon I had already caught, and I was able to just call the whole thing back."
"Wow." Brock replies, bewildered. "And I thought you were a moron. I mean I still do think your a moron, just not as big of one as before."
"I think theres only one way to solve this problem." Ash says, looking down at the Pokeball containing the massive Pokemon. He then tosses it at a clump of glitched pixels, shattering it. With that, a burst of light blasted out, followed by scattered pixels and frames mixing all over the place, until the screen goes black. About 10 seconds later, the sound of a Game Boy turning on plays, followed by the entire episode rewinding at high speed, to the second before Ash hit save, back on normal Cinnibar Island.
After that, he walks over to Brock and Misty who had gone ahead, and they go to a cliff overlooking the coast. There, Misty notices something floating along the beach, and points it out to the group. Brock responds in a panic, saying "No! It can't be!", and Ash responds with a look of slackjawed horror. Brock and Misty continue talking about the possibilities of catastrophic oblivion.
Just then, Ash takes off running in the opposite direction, and the others follow confused on to the next gym.
Cue the Pokerap! except it's all the glitch Pokemon, 152-255. It concludes with a Missingno with a gangsta hat on sideways, saying "Yo, I'm out."
And that, is what I do when I'm bored for 6 hours.
Still hilarious.
